1. Being able to say “I’m sorry” is a skill, and one that not a lot of people possess. Hone that skill. Apologizing shouldn’t be followed by “but here’s why I did it” or “and then you did this”. An apology is you taking responsibility for hurting someone else, not a notch on a scorecard in some bizarro battle of “Who’s Right?”
My therapist: Look at nature. Look at flowers. We never walk into our garden and say "Oh wouldn't that flower be so much more pretty if it were taller? Or red instead of pink?" No, we don't. Because nature was created perfect just as it is. And so are we. We are part of nature, we are how we're meant to be, we are perfect just as we are.